I have this core issue of not wanting to make her feel bad so I get silent. Part of it I guess is to telegraph that I am upset. Even if asked if something is bothering me I always say no. Vala was the first older friend I had. She taught me that women are allowed to have giant personalities all throughout their lives. She taught me that you can work your way into a community even if you’re always going to be a little bit separate from it.

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